Mean Girls in your late 20s.

So we all have a handful of close friends. We text them constantly. We swap clothing. We help them out with their issues, whether that be home, their kids or just them venting. We are there for them. 

We also have those friend that we text and we don't get a response until they want something. I've been known to avoid conversations, yes, but when you are glued to your phone and you obviously have seen the text I sent you, and you just look at it and put the phone back into your pocket, you may be a mean girl. 

I know that there are the people who have group texts, but they actually have individual conversations with at least 3 of those in the group text just to have a "real" conversation. We really do want to know what you're wearing out on Friday to the birthday dinner, but please refrain from being an asshole and admitting that you have to go buy something because you "have nothing to wear" This is a joke right? you own so many yoga pants and leggings you could open your own 2nd hand target store. You have a million long shirts and dresses you've been dying to wear because you bought them for other events and spent way to much even at TJMAXX that wearing them only once should actually be a crime. You know you're going to use this as an excuse to go to the local TJX and Target and spend $100 just to wear something you already own. You're going to wear the black leggings, the black dress and your ankle boots, we know this, we all know this. So stop wasting money on shit you won't wear. 

Friends with kids are not the issue. Friends who think they're the best parents ever and act like nothing is wrong with their kids are the issue. I know that there is a lot of people who deal with these folks. In the grand scheme of things I was a run of the mill mom who looked amazing because my son had allergies and I had to make everything from scratch, I brought snacks to birthday parties because no one really wants to pay the extra money on a Vegan, gluten free cake. NO ONE, not even myself. So I looked like I always went above and beyond. I know that people will just go all out for their kids, I love when people do that, Larry loves when others do that because we have fun, we party, and we go home and not worry about cleaning. We love that. But we don't love hearing about the cost of everything. If you know that someone who's attending the party lives on a budget, and makes a lot of things because she's broke as a joke, do not brag about the amount you spent on the party. Especially because we all know that having a party at a fun place outside of your yard is far too expensive for me. I also gauge where you're having a party for your kid and I base the amount I spend on a gift from that. You take us to the inflatable moon bounce indoor park? Your kid will get a $15-20 gift. You have it at home and are buying pizza? You'll get a $10-$15 gift. Unless I love your kid to bits and pieces and I go all out and spend like $35-$40 because I can't wait to see them get excited about everything in it. I also will not buy noisy toys if I like you. Educational toys or learning toys are always a plus of my friendship

Giving gifts is the hardest act in your late 20s. You're old enough to buy wine, but when you buy a wine you need to remember they're going to offer to open it then, because that's the nice thing to do. DO NOT go out and spend a lot of money on these liquid gifts. Just don't. You weight the pros and cons of giving a gift over paying for dinner. You're going to pay for dinner, don't go buy a bottle of wine and a set of glasses, you're going to buy all those things for her house warming party or her bridal shower. Just pay for dinner and get a funny card, at BJs because it's 50% off everyday. Dinner usually is about $40-50 if they're drinking. I don't mind if you're going to have a glass of wine or a martini with your meal, I do mind however when you order 3 drinks at $9 a piece, the $20 steak and I still have your gift in my purse, please I do value you as a friend but $100 is not what you spent on me. You bought me a cup, a coffee gift card and a card, and the GIFT CARD tells you what you spent. I may be wrong but I think you're an asshole if you go out and spend $250 on a friend for her birthday, especially when you're doing all this other stuff for them in the process. 

I'm not the nicest person around, I know this, but I am loyal to a fault. I have been ignored, disrespected and disregarded in the past few years by people who I go out of my way for. Only to be talked down to because of my preference of my non-alcoholic beverages, my awkward dance moves and my New Girl style of clothing. I often dress like a mix of Daria, Mrs. Brady, Sherri Dupree Bemis and Jannine from Ghostbusters. I love my clothing, I am proud that I don't blend in, it's not my goal; to stand out, but I am going to stand out no matter what. I don't need comments on my denim jacket, my oxford shoes, my tights, my dress, my hair. Yes I can put my hair in a beehive in about 10 minutes, my make up always is the same smokey eye with mascara and nothing else. I find it hard to swallow when people give me a hard time for doing "bare minimum" I have a chronic illness that makes everything hurt all the time, my bare minimum (in your opinion) is actually a lot of work. So joking around about me being afraid to hang out with you, or do things with you isn't funny. I'm actually just not up to being put down all day because I don't drink booze, I don't dress like I live in 2014, I don't know more than two top 40 hits at a time. 

Don't make fun of someone because they're not "up to speed" with things you are obsessed with. I don't know most of the pop culture things I should. I love American Horror Story Coven, I love Walking Dead and I love Netflix. I don't know what songs are popular because I rather listen to Eisley, Say Anything, Jenny Owen Youngs, Motion City Soundtrack, Perma, Death Cab for Cutie. When those bands are in the Top 40, please come to me and listen to me complain about how I've been a fan for so many years it's not even funny. Most people know my love of that music. I don't go out after 10pm, unless it's for one of the aforementioned bands. I like Hockey, but I know shit about baseball and basketball and football. I know how to bake, I can make damn near anything. I don't judge you for raising your kids on kiss 108, don't judge me because my son can sing MCS by heart, he's met them by the way, he's slightly in love with them now. 

Just because it's strange to you doesn't give you permission to be a dick about it. Why not ask me about my interests and listen to the passion about the book I read and the things I've got planned. I don't know if you realize that. 

House Hunting Late January.

We have looked at a few houses this month, this past weekend, Jan 25/26th, we had scheduled 3 viewings.

1 in uxbridge, the house is a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with almost 2 acres of land. It's listed for a little more than $200K. It had a lot of promise, we wanted to see the inside. We got to the house a little earlier than our realtor just to see the yard, you know it's nice thinking about almost 2 acres to play in and build things. It's mainly wooded. I liked the yard, I could see having a nice patio or putting on a farmer's porch. I was excited to see the inside, Tamra showed up, and we found that the people who are renting the house locked the screen door that was between us and the lock box. We didn't get to see the inside of the house. Which was a bummer. We called the listing agent, and he was unhappy about the fact we couldn't see the house, and enlightened us that it was not the first time the renters have hindered the viewing of the house.


Second of the day was a nice little house, in Grafton MA, near rt 140 and 122 it was tiny, but it had potential, the definition of a bachelor pad. it was 1 bedroom, but it was sneaky and pretty much lead people to believe it was a family home. It took all of 5 minutes to go thru the house, twice. The house was rough, but at $125K it wasn't worth the hassle it would have been to transform it into OUR house.


The third was also in Grafton Ma, it was basically like a sweet grandma was moved into a nursing home. It was a ranch 3 bedroom ranch, 50s thru and thru. The house was on about a 1/3 of an acre, it was adorable. Adorable and would work. There wasn't really a designated area for a dining room. the basement was a nice solid poured foundation. I could see it being a nice starting point, the projects would not be a lot of work, just a lot of time, the removal of wallpaper and painting the rooms would be the most timely. We enjoyed the quiet street, and there were bistros, restaurants and bars in the area, and a lot of major routes that were minutes away. This was a great house, shockingly it was only $178K and it had been lowered numerous times since being listed a little under 150 days ago.

There are 2 more houses we are hoping to see soon, there is one, in Grafton,MA the biggest issue with this one is the fact it's a short sale and the people occupying the home refuse to let people view it, it's been on the market for over 320 days. The other big issue is that the Commuter Rail train tracks are all of 30 feet away from the back door. But the yard is fenced and the train wouldn't need to blow it's whistle which is nice. It's also a short trip from Tufts Vet hospital, and the commuter rail stop is about 3/4 of a mile away. I can walk that in 15 minutes. I could work ANYWHERE.

We'd like to see a house that isn't a huge fixer upper, and we'd also like one that isn't riddled with a gross amount of issues. We like thinking about a house that we can fix a bit to make our own, but we don't want one that makes it near impossible to do anything besides update the house. I have told John I don't mind a house that I can be dropped off at in the morning and I can work on the house, whether it could be painting or sanding or puttying.

Well that's about it for this week. We are getting frustrated with all these idiots who waste our time on scheduled viewings and then they cancel before or we get there and nearly have to break in to see the place.

Mind you it was a whopping 18 degrees yesterday, and it was COLD in some of these houses. How the pipes were in tact actually made me curious.

Anyone have any tips on how to make this experience more enjoyable?

House Hunting and the Feelings involved

John and I have been actively house hunting for about a year.

The beginning:
There is an old firehouse in Medway, Ma. I loved it since I was a little girl. I wanted it since I was about 9 years old. I love the Ghostbusters so it some what stems from that. Massive square footage, 2400. A 4 car garage, IT WAS A FIREHOUSE FOLKS! The house itself was rough at best, and we missed this house by a day or two. I still whimper driving by, saying, "My house." as we pass.


Soon after we fell in love with a little lake front cabin in Hopkinton, MA. It was a 2 minute walk from my grandmother. Bad thing; it was listed at a point that did not match what the house offered. The house was a two bedroom, with a loft space, a whopping 900 sq ft. It was amazingly cute.  We passed on this house for a lot of reasons, the cost, the updates needed, the fact that one of the bedrooms was in the basement. Larry's only 8, he can't be 2 floors down, and not have an emergency exit. (I'm sure I'll feel differently when he gets to be a teen, and I will want him under lock and key forever.)

So we continued looking, slowly. We would see something that caught our eyes and we'd entertain the idea by going to the house and either being grossed out and just let down.

We have a hefty down payment, but we are only approved for 165K, well we WERE approved for that, the new year came with new laws, so we have a little less. OK, a lot less now.  It's so frustrating.

Living in a state where the realty is so pricy it makes it impossible to actually find a house we love, that doesn't need $100K to make it livable.

I'm no princess. I do not have anything against getting our hands dirty. We would love an older house with character and charm. We just might not find that in our price, in MASSACHUSETTS! This damn state.

We have seen at least 60 houses, ranging from move in ready at $210K to money pits at $150K. There is nothing we haven't seen.

I always question why people who are selling their house, not a foreclosure, allows the house to smell like there are dead animals in the walls. I'm not saying a lot of the houses are like that, but there have been a few.

We have it a little tougher than others, we have this area between John's work and we are hoping to be closer to his work. However we also feel the need to be close to his parents.

We went up to Fitchburg, because they're reasonably priced up there, it's about a hour and a half north of John's Parents, there's a larger crime rate and the schools aren't the best. The house was amazing. It was a Cape style home, with a decent lot, granted most of it was a hill, but it had 3 rooms, a craft room, an office, a large kitchen and dinning room, living room. The house had this adorable little closet that was like a hobbit house inside the actual house, I was imagining a little reading nook. We passed on the house, which we still sort of regret, because of the location.

We have put bids in on houses. We are aggressive but realistic about it all. We know what a house is worth, we have an inspector in the family, but with attachments and memories making all of it slightly skewed from the seller's aspects, it makes it a million times tougher to make a deal.

Often times, foreclosures come with a totally different price tag, they may seem amazing and cheap, then you find out all the copper is stolen and the house needs to be completely rewired because the electrical has not been updated in 50 years.

Also we have found a lot of the houses we love are riddled with Asbestos. We made an offer on a house, which was about $20K lower than asking, and they rejected it. We said ok, whatever, it's not worth a penny more, then we went back, and noticed that every pipe in the basement was coasted, in a lovely layer of asbestos. I can't look up, so unless it was at face level or lower I wasn't going to see it. These people, before the second viewing, called US back, kept lowering their asking price for us. They came within $2.5K of what we initially offered, not worth it. NOT AT ALL.

The feelings involved in this are a wide range. It's basically hit or miss on a house, but it is not easy. I have cried, moped, became instantly overwhelmed. I just don't know why people would do this more than 2X in their life. Then again if I was a millionaire, I would just buy houses for fun I guess. I would.

We have seen it all, one house in Bellingham had dog doors cut right into the wall. Another Bellingham house had a dead bird in it, we assume it wasn't a pet. We have seen mansions near colleges that are so old that they use Asbestos shingles, and lead paint on every surface.

We are bummed out about the dent into our mortgage options. This means looking at cheaper houses, or putting a larger downpayment. Both are options.

John's job is a big factor, and driving 2 hours (on a good day) is too much. I don't work currently, I'm between jobs, which is heartbreaking. I also don't drive, so the closer to a town center or at least some sort of food source is mildly important. I have a Vespa like scooter, but it's not ideal for the country.

We have a lot of learning to do in this area of life, but being closer to 30, and together for longer than some marriages last, we are ready for this adventure.

Here's to the next one being THE ONE!